florida crime news funny

©2020 FOX News Network, LLC. Man tries to trade alligator for beer, 94. "Mean drunk" smears poop on teen's face, 92.

Trapper trying to catch elusive loose monkey gets death threats, 8.

Arrest me," woman says after cucumber-salad attack, Largo man accused of misusing 911 to report Taco Bell for not selling him tacos, "Big hairy" buttocks, golf balls cited in St. Lucie County neighbor issue, Estates man arrested for DUI blames "boogeyman" for motorcycle crash, deputies report, U.S. Airways allows man in underwear to fly, Dumb blonde joke ends in nipple bite, knife attack, Woman arrested after assaulting man with butter, Man accused of attacking woman with swim noodle over watermelon dispute at Lowdermilk Park, Tampa police say woman tried to buy her 80-year-old father a prostitute over Easter weekend, Man accused of stealing truck full of Krispy Kremes, Florida woman renews marriage vows with Ferris wheel named Bruce, Duo stole golf cart from nudist resort for McDonald's run, Pasco deputies say, Kangaroo leads Florida deputies on 10-hour chase, Beanie Babies swiped: Men accused of taking little girl's toys during armed home invasion, 75-year-old Orange City man accused of throwing grape at ex-wife's face, threatening to kill her, Drunken woman cries, eats stranger's food while at PF Changs, Florida man dies after winning cockroach-eating contest, Polo club founder Goodman adopts his adult girlfriend, Thieves kill family's pet turkey for Thanksgiving meal, Lake Park man allegedly obsessed with Fox News, GOP is in jail after threats made to girlfriend, Man arrested in DUI case also had squirrel inside his shirt, Florida woman Megan causes two-vehicle crash... while shaving her bikini line, 346-pound man punches Domino's pizza guy for forgetting his garlic knots, cops say, Pink-clad pooch stolen from gay bar by man with Britney tattoo, Jackmeoff Mudd arrested In Fort Lauderdale, Florida goat skateboards into Guinness Book of World Records, Christopher Phillips attacks mom for using his taco sauce, salsa, Mark Miller allegedly used sword, sandwich in Florida attack, Bogus dentist accused of kissing buttocks of woman with toothache, Mom bites daughter who tried to turn off Rihanna CD, Florida man bites off girlfriend's thumb on the way to Taco Bell, Florida swingers' orgy goes horribly wrong, Trend of young people drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk hits Florida, Wild raccoons invade school, pee on student, Largo puppeteer wanted to "cook" and "eat" children, "Zombie" attacks continue?

Michael Harrell, 54, robbed a U.S. Bank in Cleveland, Ohio, in July after handing a teller a note with his name on it, the FBI says.

Florida swingers' orgy goes horribly wrong, 82. Woman in Fort Pierce said she called 911 because she "ate too much food", 32. Thieves kill family's pet turkey for Thanksgiving meal, 67. A Fla. storage unit, Man charged with folding woman into couch in Palmetto, Florida man arrested for calling 911 after his cat was denied entry into strip club, Pregnant woman attacked man with bowl of spaghetti, cops say, Man dies after getting stuck in girlfriend's cat door, Potato salad rage leads to woman's arrest, PSL man ate stolen ice cream sandwich he kept in pants, police say, Lawmaker files bill to repeal state ban on dwarf tossing in bars, Conehead mascot in pointy white hood mistaken as Klan follower, Suspected Florida prostitute Christina Vavra busted by cop's "flaccid rubber penis", "I'm guilty. Estates man arrested for DUI blames "boogeyman" for motorcycle crash, deputies report, 50. Beanie Babies swiped: Men accused of taking little girl's toys during armed home invasion, 61.

"Not Homeless Need Boobs": Fla. woman asks for donations alongside busy roadway, 19.

Tampa police say woman tried to buy her 80-year-old father a prostitute over Easter weekend, 56. A security guard makes an attempt to pull over a real officer by flashing a badge at the cop, it doesn't go as he pl... A baggy jean wearing thief packed his pants with 15 motor oil bottles and 30 DVDs, The police have arrested a Californian woman of robbing a bank whilst wearing a drawn on fake beard, A man mocks the way a man suffering from cerebral palsy walks into a convenience store before punching him, A man suspected being involved in a shooting defecates on a search warrant placed on a chair, A robber hands a handwritten note to a cashier, and hilarity ensues soon after, A man who was impersonating a police officer mistakenly pulls over an officer wearing a full uniform, A man who stole a woman's purse runs straight into the long arms of the law, literally, No only is a burglar caught stealing on cam, the burglar steals the cam, A female house burglar pushed her excrement in the face of homeowner after she was confronted, A man allegedly made a false report to the police claiming he got robbed so he didn't have to go to work.

Crimes, unfortunately, happen every day across America, but there are some you read about that leave you scratching your head. Michael Harrell, 54, was arrested in August after ordering a teller to hand over cash from a U.S. Bank location in Cleveland -- using a note that had his full name and address on it, the FBI says. Florida goat skateboards into Guinness Book of World Records, 76. A man in Arizona wearing reindeer slippers managed to ‘dash’ away from this scene – but law enforcement caught up to him anyway. He then returned about three hours later -- this time, to ask for a job application. Deputy removes Doritos bag from deer's head, 93. Florida woman Megan causes two-vehicle crash... while shaving her bikini line, 72.

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