why do people lie in relationships

So, if you’re bored in your relationship and let it pass, do you have to purposely hurt your partner’s feelings by telling them you were tired of their company for a time? People who lie are usually afraid of something: Most of the time, this fear can be justified in the short run, but not in the long run. Many people lie to protect both the innocent and the guilty. You may lie about your job, your education, or your relationship with your family members, all because of some insecurity you hold. All Rights Reserved. #3 Avoiding accountability. They may knowingly and unknowingly minimize differences and emphasize ways they are alike in order to prove compatibility to rlationships other, and find alignment. So, why do people lie to those they love? #7 To hurt their mate. But the price of parental stress that raising a child entails is a completely different matter.

The survey also showed that one in five thought it was okay to keep a $500 shopping spree from their partners—even going as far as keeping multiple hidden bank accounts from their mates. Often people lie about parents who have abandoned them, addicts in the family, or they lie about sickness or mental challenges a family member might have. #6 Lying about family. It isn’t easy to talk about money, especially when you have separate bank accounts. People often lie to cover up insecurities they have. Simply Tell Him!

People may vouch for a friend saying they were with them all night when really their friend was off pursuing some side action.

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Here are the most common reasons. If you want to save face at any cost, you might lie so that people think good things about you. You cannot avoid conflict about the things that are really important, like finances, addiction, feelings about the relationship, raising children, etc.

The ironic thing is that the consequences of someone finding out the lie are often worse than the consequences of what actually happened or what you tried to cover up. Bottom line, people lie because they can. Even the most honest person probably agrees that while you shouldn’t lie, you shouldn’t always speak the truth, either. Why do people lie?

You’ve probably asked yourself this question at some point in your life. According to Webster’s Dictionary, to lie means “to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive”. On the other hand, to deceive means “to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid,” or “to make someone believe something that isn’t true”. The content in this publication is presented for informative purposes only. Even if your partner finds out months after you start, they’re going to find out eventually.

One study shows that 60% of adults can’t go 10 minutes without telling a lie. Granted, the lies were trivial in nature, but then why tell them at all?

“You’re the best I’ve ever had,” “You never annoy me,” and “I don’t fantasize about other people in the sack” are just some of the truths people avoid telling their mates. Remember when you were eight years old, and your mom asked you if you were the one who tracked mud through the house? However, sometimes you might…, Passive-aggressive behavior is quite problematic, as it's a major obstacle to maintaining the relationships you have with those who suffer…, Some people feel offended by everything. Any woman who’s ever made a trip to Sephora can probably admit she’d rather her mate not see the receipt.

The action of deceit includes the key concept of intentionality or willfulness. Going Through Your Parents' Divorce as An Adult, simple and direct way to protect your privacy, Relationship Problems that Require Therapy, Bonding with a Partner and Self-Protection, Keys to Managing Passive-Aggressive Behavior, How to Get Over the Bad Habit of Feeling Offended, Yacouba Sawadogo, the Man Who Beat the Sahara, Acute Confusional Syndrome: Symptoms, Types, and Treatment. Other reasons that make people lie 1) To seek attention : some people choose to lie because they lack self confidence and feel overlooked by their peers.

I love the company of gentleman and gives pleasure is my top priority.

While you can wait to be called out by your partner, you can also just put on your big girl pants and get real with them. Do what you say you are going to do. For a few weeks now the bills have piled up in her car, and Jill has avoided telling her husband that she did not mail them. For example, most women lie about their weight on dating profiles. Just more than one-third of all lies (36%) cover up some type of mistake or misdeed (22%), or they help avoid other people (14%). So when he asks how his measures up, just grin and tell him “You’re the best.”. So things like “I never said that about you” or “I never spent that money” are little lies to avoid getting into trouble from your little misses.

Sometimes our lies become habitual, weaving themselves into the fabric of our everyday relationships to such an extent that they go unnoticed by a partner or spouse. Some people thrive on drama, making an exaggerated lie seem more than just a little alluring. Losing something or not getting something they want. Acting above? Opposite of the above, many lie to spare their mates feelings, even on trivial matters. People also lie to make other people happy, as strange as that may seem. Despite…, It's normal to be envious, indifferent, or even to really dislike that others are doing fine. He is loud and she finds his frequent body pokes and off-color jokes irritating. © 2020 Exploring your mind | Blog about psychology and philosophy. Academic survey researcher Tom Smith reports 15%-18% of married couples have affairs during their marriage. Here is her list of reasons why people lie. Relationships are like roller coasters. In fact, you may…, Passive-aggressive friends are bad company.

If your mate reveals they share dirty texts with someone else you might be tempted to lie and tell them you’ve been with someone also. Deception can trick couples into thinking they are keeping a relationship going, or in some sense lubricating it, but this often means they are neglecting to develop much-needed communication skills, … How Was Your First Date Really? Went to Reid's with friends for their cocktail package! #2 Insecurities. John finds out that Katie is passionate about horror movies and loves to attend all-day horror film fests and even goes to horror movie conventions. As you can see, humans lie for many different reasons. It’s also common for people to lie so that their family and friends don’t find out about something negative about them or something that could cause problems.

Sometimes you might lie because you’re trying to help someone or make someone feel good.

Obviously, you haven’t met their families yet! Like Ghosting? 10 common reasons why we fib Explore this, relationshi;s on it, discuss it, play with it, reject it, embrace it, and notice. Sometimes what leads people to keep lying is that they don’t want anyone to figure out that they are.

Who hasn't reacted disproportionately to something that wasn't important at least once? Sometimes it’s just nice to sit in a quiet middle ground and enjoy your happy relationship. In general, people lie because they’re afraid of what’ll happen if the truth comes out. In other words, lying is the expression or manifestation of the opposite of what you know, believe, or think. It all depends on the lie and why you're telling it.

Many people lie about family members to avoid embarrassment or out of protection. #9 To protect others. People also lie for other complex and varied reasons. But are these reasons altruistic, or are they just the result of a person not being able to handle conflict or unpleasantness? #1 Because they’re cheating.

People lie to blame others, to avoid responsibilities, to hurt other people, or to avoid facing their problems. Lies can help plans and projects continue on their course. Relationship Is Making You Depressed: Is It Time to Move On? How to Become a Better Person in a Relationship & Be Happier Too! Why Honesty With Yourself Matters, Not Sure Anymore? Failure to differentiate usually from one or both partners being conflict avoidant, meaning that they hold the basic fear that conflict will lead to rupture or collapse of the relationship. The little white lies can become habitual and get in the way of trust and intimacy.

The explanation offered is fairly detailed and lengthy. Because they are seeking security above all else, they are willing to overcompensate or over adapt for long periods of time in order to keep the illusion of permanence in the relationship. Over time, it’s hard to keep up with a lie and it becomes less likely that the lie will actually help you achieve your goals.

This information is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional psychological advice. When it comes to small, common lies, people would rather not know what others really think about them.

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